I’m Taking Names.

A few years ago there was a big fire where I live. Many people lost their homes along with all of their possessions. I was on Facebook at the time and saw that an acquaintance of mine (someone I’d met maybe twice) had lost everything in that fire. I messaged her and offered her a bunch of stuff - pots, pans, a blanket, some books, and other items I can’t recall. It cost me nothing, I was happy to do it, and honestly, I never thought about it again.

A couple of years later I ran into that woman. She told me that she’d recently done an exercise reflecting on the 20 people who’d made the most impact on her life, or left the biggest mark… something like that. Then she told me that I was on her list. I was initially surprised, but then I thought about how the things that we do in our lives, the random act of kindness, and the times we go out of our way to help a stranger - not because we want accolades or acknowledgement - but just because of who we are and how we orient… because of our inner compass or sense of what’s right… can make a the biggest and most lasting impression.

***

After my last blog post “I’ve Been Called Worse,” I received about a dozen messages. Two from non-Jewish friends who, for the first time, said they were listening and reflecting. The others were mostly from Jewish friends who said “you speak for me” and “this exactly mirrors my experience.” But the email that stands out the most included something that I didn’t know I needed to hear… When I read it my whole body relaxed. It was from a groom whose wedding I officiated 4 years ago. I only met him a few times, and we hadn’t been in touch since the wedding.

Here’s the gist: “I wanted to reach out and lend my support. I was taught by my parents about the Holocaust and also taught the ever important motto, Never Again. My mother grew up in Munich in the '60s. There she learned first hand the horrors of that time and she made sure to teach us accountability, not just for our own actions, but also for the state of the world in which we live. Evil thrives when good people do nothing. I do not hold back my opinion in any conversation that in any way connects to antisemitism, especially those that concern the current tragedies in Israel.* Getting to the point, I wanted to offer what I can if ever you or any other Jewish friends ever need anything. God forbid it is ever necessary, my home will be a safe and well defended place for you and them. I say to you what I have told the other Jewish people in my life: As long as I breathe, I will stand with Jews and for Jews against anyone who wishes to hurt them because they are Jewish, and I know a lot of people who feel the same. Take care and rest easy.”

As I said, I didn’t even know that I needed to hear this, and when I shared it with a Jewish friend of mine, she told me that she needed to hear it, too. She said:

“This. Yes. This. I needed this from him. And how very, very sad not to hear it from our friends.”

Okay but why did I need to hear that? Do I really think the holocaust will happen again? (I don’t. Although I know that European Jews never thought anything like it would happen there, either.) But I think that what I actually needed to hear was an expression of unequivocal moral clarity.

Because there is an overabundance of moral confusion and moral perversion and moral bankruptcy, and quite frankly, moral narcissism… a Hitchcockian inversion of reality with more WTF moments than one can count… because the magic trick is almost complete - the one where the “Free Palestine” movement becomes anti-Israel becomes anti Zionist becomes, simply, anti Jew... because antisemitism is an unexamined mind virus… because Osama Bin Laden and Hitler are the new heroes of TikTok… So when someone can say plainly, and in no uncertain terms, that they see the vile and insidious sickness that is antisemitism with all it’s tentacles and armaments, that they oppose it, that they are willing to stand up against it… and that they will not sit idly by while evil thrives… it restores some of my faith in humanity.

Of course I wonder why this is the exception and not the rule, and why it was so easy for him to express, and yet so hard for others… especially when those others are people who claim to know and love me… But that is not the point of this post. The point is that when I make my top 20 list, this man’s name will be on it.

*The part of his email that was the most reassuring was when he said that he speaks up about antisemitism when it happens. The hiding part is nice, but the point is this: it should never come to that. By the time Jews need to be hidden, it’s too late. We need non-Jews to speak up and take action now, so that “Never Again” is not some empty promise but a lived reality.